Choosing an Occasion and Non-Occasion

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A lot of guys like to propose engagement on certain Occasions. We call them Occasions because they are noteworthy dates that will remain noteworthy whether they become a part of your proposal or not.

First, there are dates of personal significance dates that carry a meaning only you and your girlfriend would truly understand. Looking back at the history of your relationship, are there any days of the year that stick out? When did you meet? When was your first date? How about your first kiss? Another great choice is the anniversary of your relationship (especially if you wont be able to use it as your wedding day). You should also consider dates that reflect personal accomplishment. If you and your girlfriend met as freshmen in college, for instance, maybe Graduation Day would be a good time to propose.

The second kind of Occasions are holidays three of which are a given. First and foremost is Valentines Day. We probably dont have to tell you why so many guys gravitate towards it. After all, the whole point is to celebrate those we adore! Christmas is another popular option. Christmas is all about giving. And what better gift can you give than a shiny, new ring and the promise of your love? New Years is also an ideal time. There is hope in a new year its a fresh start, a beginning. Sort of like a metaphor for marriage. Its kind of heartwarming, actually.

Still, there are things you should ask yourself before proposing engagement on any of these holidays.

New Years, for one, is a time to let loose and party. Maybe thats fitting. But maybe it isnt. It depends. If youre planning to pop the question when the ball drops, will she think this is perfect… or perfectly corny? Be honest. Every girls got her own tastes. Ask yourself: How romantic should I make this? And what can I do to ensure its romantic enough?

As for Christmas, where will you spend it? And who, more importantly, will you spend it with? Perhaps you plan to propose while opening gifts with her family Christmas morning. Well, how do you think shell react to this? Will she care if youre still wearing pajamas? Will she love that her loved ones are there to share the moment, or will she wish youd proposed in a more intimate setting? Whatever you think shell prefer, make sure Christmas can cater to it. If it can, great. But if it cant, get over it. There are other options.

Last but not least among the Big Three Holidays is Valentines Day an obvious choice. Believe it or not, though, some women think its too obvious, and this can work against you. It can also work for you (think reverse psychology). Again, its a matter of personal preference. Take stock: Who is she? Whats her sensibility? Has she made a big deal about Valentines Day in the past? Or has she treated it like any other day?

Of course, all three of these holidays occur within a short time of each other, which is great if you want to propose in the winter but what if you dont? Other holidays, while less obvious, provide excellent opportunities for Occasion proposals as well. Whens the next time you and your girlfriend will both have off from work? Memorial Day? Labor Day? Thanksgiving? Arrange to spend some extra time together, and use that time to propose. The Fourth of July is a perfect choice. Who wouldnt want a proposal full of

Choosing a Non-Occasion

The major benefit of proposing on an Occasion is that significance is already built into it. For instance, you know before you even sit down for a Valentines dinner that there will be an aura of romance. And for some guys, this is great. But for others, it just adds pressure. Thats the benefit of being a guy, though. Its all in your hands.

Non-Occasion proposals have several advantages of their own. First, theres the fact that any day of the year that isnt an Occasion is a Non-Occasion. This gives you tons of flexibility. For example, if you decide in March that you want to propose on Christmas, then youd better pack a lunch youre going to sit around waiting for a while. Christmas is a fixed date. It only comes once a year. But on the other hand, if you decide in March that you want to propose on a Non-Occasion, you can basically do it whenever in March, in April, in May, etc. The worlds your proverbial oyster.

This flexibility also comes in handy when Proposal Day arrives. Why? Well, suppose things arent going according to plan. Suppose youre snowed in and cant keep your reservations. This is bad news if you want to propose on a holiday, because, again, holidays only come one time a year. Your girlfriend will think somethings fishy if you insist on cashing that Valentines rain check in early March. With Non-Occasion proposals, however, nothing is set in stone. You can reschedule no questions asked!

Finally, there is the issue of the element of surprise. This is the big one. Lets face it: Your proposal is supposed to be your crowning romantic achievement. And few things are more romantic than spontaneity. This is why lots of guys choose Non-Occasion proposals. Their girlfriends never see it coming! (Nor do the people who whisper, He passed up another good chance, every time you fail to propose on a holiday. Its two for the price of one!)

Which isnt to say Non-Occasions have a lock on the surprise factor. Holidays and dates of personal significance can be equally surprising and, in some cases, more surprising. It all depends on how you play it. Suppose the only time you and your girlfriend ever go out for a fancy dinner happens to be Valentines Day. Will you be able to swing a fancy dinner in mid-August without letting on? If not, then a Non-Occasion proposal may not be quite as surprising as you think.

One other issue you should consider before settling on a Non-Occasion proposal is a rarely diagnosed medical condition called Irresistus Urgus, or, in laymens terms, The Irresistible Urge. It can be very hard to resist proposing once you know youre hiding a ring in your closet. You can spend months and months putting together an elaborate battle plan, with reservations, music, flowers, etc., only to blow it in the waning days because you just cant take the suspense anymore. Trust us. Weve seen it a thousand times. Choosing an Occasion gives you a set goal and timetable. A Non-Occasion, on the other hand, inspires thoughts of: Why not now? I was going to propose soon anyway. The next thing you know, youre on one knee, trying to beat the commercials during a Tuesday night rerun of Friends.